Random Acts Of Reality

Update On A Rumour

Reynolds — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:39:00 +0000

A little while ago I posted about a rumour that the LAS would have their budget cut by £25 million come a new government.

After I wrote that Andrew Boff (Conservative member of the London Assembly) got in contact with me and did some asking around in his part of the world.

This is his reply,

I've chased this up with the Conservative Front bench and they have no plans relating to any change in LAS services at all. Andrew Lansley has set out a commitment to cut by a third the cost of administration in the NHS, but equally he's made it clear that front-line services will be protected and hasn't gone into any detail about particular Trusts.

I think that coming up to an election there will be barrage of claims and rumours but I'm fairly confident that this one is probably made up though I don't know who by.

Does this mean that there isn't going to be a cut in our budget? Well, to be honest I'm not sure - but I think that Mr. Boff is genuine in believing so.

Whatever happens he's earned some kudos points from me, even if he is *shudder* Conservative, for paying attention to a lowly blogger like myself.

Now, if only I could get whoever is the minister in charge of ambulance services, and their counterpart in social care to pay attention...

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I may be clearing out some browser tabs and emails today. This may mean more posts than normal.

Happy Thoughts

Reynolds — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:32:00 +0000

I wake up at 1:30 am, it's my 38th birthday and I'm awake because shift work has killed my bodyclock. Various parts of my body ache, consequences of a job where heavy, unsafe lifting is sadly a fact of life.

I stare at the ceiling, thoughts running through my head, becoming more and more hate filled as I reflect on my job.

I know that this is in part the trifecta of SAD, nightshifts and a couple of months without a 'decent' job. If I could just do a call where I actually helped someone by using medical skills my mood might improve.

I lay in bed thinking about alcoholics, drunks and wimps - about how personal responsibility seems to have become an incredibly rare thing.

I'm hating myself for doing a job where the health detriments are so pronounced while serving so many people who selfishly think that the A&E and ambulance service are there just for their benefit.

I think on the last few night shifts - of the drunks that we went to. Of people who drink and drink and drink, then 'collapse' in the street - knowing that some idiot like me will come and pick them up before they get too cold (it's only pensioners and hillwalkers who die of hypothermia these days), I'll then take them to hospital where they will continue to be mollycoddled by demoralised nursing staff.

And if you aren't mollycodled enough - well, you can always complain and get someone disciplined or fired.

The government tries to prevent heavy drinking by warning people of the effects on the liver, that they might make a fool of themselves. But people don't care, that is all so very far away. After all, isn't a hangover the sign of a 'good night out'? A badge of pride to be worn in order to prove that you are 'social' and 'popular'?

I like this advert.

But I don't think that it goes far enough.

What I think we need is something that is much more immediate, something much more telling and something that acts as a deterrent to others.

It'll need an act of parliament, but Labour seem to like introducing reams of new legislation.

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My suggestion is this - in order to teach people that the effects of alcohol on both themselves and on society are damaging and far-reaching heavy consumers need to be taught a lesson.

When called to a drunk in the street, the ambulance crew should be allowed to beat the 'patient' up, to give them the fight of their lives, to fill them in, to give them a good shoeing and to knock seven shades of shit out of them.

This will have several effects - primarily it will act as a deterrent to people who get drunk and expect public taxes to be spent looking after them, secondly it will reduce the cachet of sporting a hangover the next day in work, thirdly it will ensure that the 'patient' actually needs the services of an A&E department, fourthly it will allow A&E staff to practice their minor (and not so minor if the ambulance crew gets carried away) injury treatments on a semi comatose patient and finally it'll help de-stress ambulance crews when they find themselves going to the umpteenth drunk of the night.

I suspect that once a person has had their nose broken a few times they may eventually get the idea that drinking in moderation is perhaps a good idea.

(Also the ambulance crew should be allowed to perform 'ABC' on the patient - taking their Access, Barclaycard and Cash. This will have the happy side effect of raising ambulance wages, and thereby raising staff morale.)

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I am not mad.

But I would suspect that in countries where the police are... less 'customer focussed' there is much less public drunkenness.

Perhaps a less extreme measure would be to have the ability for A&E departments to issue fixed penalty fines if the only reason that you are in the hospital is because you were drunk and incapable. I wish the police would do this, but they are fully aware that in the great scheme of things their time is better spent elsewhere, or if not ''better spent', then tied up dealing with Kylee and Jason's domestic dispute over the bottle of White Lightning.

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I suspect that over the next few days I'll be highlighting exactly how wasted my time at work has been - essentially being little more than a taxi driver, and worse than that a taxi driver that can't refuse a punter.

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EDIT: It would seem that some people haven't recognised that this post is largely hyperbole, maybe I should have made it more explicit by suggesting that I 'kill a few - just as an example for the others'? Needless to say I don't actually think that we should go around beating up drunks, but I do think that we should introduce fines for these drunkards who abuse the NHS.

I Would Walk 5,000 Miles (Because I Keep Breaking Down)

Reynolds — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:33:00 +0000

We have a lovely new ambulance at West Ham station. They are quite nice actually, there is much more leg room so it means I don't think I'm stuck in an economy airplane for twelve hours.

They have groovy new electronic systems that talk to you and do things like turn off the lights in order to save battery power - it only sometimes turns off the lights when you really need them.

It has the new electric trolley-beds, which I'm yet to encounter a problem with, although I'm sure that it's only a matter of time before the batteries that drive them start to fail. Maybe I'm being cynical.

The biggest problem is that the engine is incredibly underpowered. There is no acceleration to it at all, and it's that acceleration which you need when you are coming to a stop every five yards as you weave your way through the London traffic.

Sadly it's not there, and it sometimes feels like you need to get out and give it a push.

I blame the LAS management wanting to save money, and the environment - after all they do try to have us out driving around aimlessly, just in case a call comes down the line in the area in which they have deployed us.

(Sorry I'm being cynical, what actually happens is that the psychic computer tells us where the next heart attack is going to happen and so we are dynamically deployed depending on this crystal ball).

This new vehicle has done 2,500 miles. There isn't a mark or a dent on it.

Yet, in the last 41 days, it has needed to be taken off the road to be fixed 22 times.

We tallied it up while we were working on it last night - the picture opposite is the reasons why it has needed to be fixed.

I'm sure that, had we bought this from a shop, we'd be covered under the 'not fit for purpose' legislation and we could get our money back.

Sadly, we work in the world of NHS contracts, and I'm just not that smart to realise why we aren't sending these vehicles back to Mercedes and asking them to get them to do the thing that we have bought them for.

There is obviously a fault somewhere that needs serious fixing.

Here is a picture of the front of the ambulance repair reporting book, where we write down the faults so that the fitters can mend them. It is supposed to be left on the vehicle at all times.

Sadly, the LAS typo monster has struck again and it is down to crews to correct things.

This monster is getting more and more prevalent, the latest big memo - laminated cards sent to every member of staff in the area, told us about the policy for dealing with patients who need to go to a 'heart attach' centre.

I think it's because they have promoted one of my old officers who couldn't spell, and laminated everything.

I think he's doing something like 'business development'.

And, like all writing on the internet where someone comments on grammar or spelling, I'm sure that there is an error on this page.

My excuse (for many things) is that I'm working night shifts - it's all I can do to manage to get into work in the first place...

My New Favourite T-Shirt

Reynolds — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:59:00 +0000

From the excellent Warren Ellis and his T-Shirt of the week. I'm getting this on both T-Shirt and Hoodie.
It is only available for a week, so if you want one, I'd hurry up and order.
For those that are interested in Print On Demand (and I am) - Ariana Osbourne writes a wonderful little post about the design work on the POD 'Shivering Sands' that she and Ellis worked on together.

Kindle Chronicles

Reynolds — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:56:00 +0000

A few things to post about today, but first I need to sleep, so until this afternoon I'll give you something to listen to.

For those of you who are interested in the Kindle reader, there is no better podcast than Len Edgerly’s ‘The Kindle Chronicles’, so I was exceptionally privileged to be invited to have a little chat with him.

During the show I talk a little about the problems that Amazon may have in the UK being later to market than the Sony Reader, about open formats and the craziness of regionalisation. We also ponder on the tactile nature of the Kindle and how we seem to be going back to an earlier century.

You can visit The Kindle Chronicles website, or go direct to this particular show page.

You can also subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or download the episode directly.